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Phish has built an entire library of songs heavily based on metaphorical lyrics, and I think your review, in a way, was a nice tribute to that.
Plus everyone can just go listen to it for free today on LivePhish and then decide if they want to buy it. I don't think you need to rely on a review, or anyone to tell you what you should like. Form your own opinions, there's no right or wrong. Everytime I see the words "tahoe tweezer" as a basis for comparison for all songs 3.0, I die a little inside. Not that it wasn't great, it was, but the best version of a song is the one that really speaks to you for some reason, who cares if it isn't technically the greatest version of all time. And hey, if you don't like the review, don't read it, find something else to do! Simple as that!
Thanks for sharing your experience in a creative way.